I’m not exactly sure how I’m going to organize this but I’ll figure it out as time goes on. For now this is going to be a place for me to just spill my thought out into the void. I have too many ideas in my brain that I can’t keep all locked up in my echoey skull.

10/28/2022

I know I sure as hell do! It’s freaking hard though. I keep telling myself that, no matter what I do, I have to be morally and ethically correct with all aspects of the business. For instance one thing I am dying to sell is my own clothing line or accessories.

Like dad hats. Specifically dad hats. I love dad hats. I want to put an outline of my car on the front of a hat and sell it to hopefully make my dream build a little more attainable. But there are so many things that need to happen before I can sell the hat.

Designing the product is probably the easiest part of the process. Drop shipping has made the idea of selling your own products online seemingly “As easy as two clicks!”. Almost making you wonder why everyone and their mother isn’t jumping on this “Start you’re own business!” bandwagon.

It’s hard for me to start because I have extremely specific standards when it comes to the quality and source of the materials required for each product. I don’t want to be morally in the wrong for selling an item that is the product of child labor or sub-livable wages. In this world it seems like the only way to make money and progress is to forget ethics or morality.

At least that’s how it feels from my perspective. I could be wrong. I’m just scared of being apart of the problem. I’d rather set a good example for the generations to come.

10/29/2022

I keep getting stuck thinking I’m not doing enough. I know I can do more with my time so if I don’t spend every second on something productive I put myself in a rut. I get upset and tell myself to “wake up”. I tell myself to “get a move on” or to “stop wasting time”. I hardly ever stop to think about all that I’ve done this far. If I do, nine times out of ten, I chalk it up to dumb luck. I don’t recognize myself as a professional quite yet. I don’t really believe those close to me who congratulate me for doing what I do.

I do believe that I am capable of doing more. I believe that in a way I’m not spending enough time on my interests that could further my career as an “artist”. I’m afraid that if I keep putting pressure on myself that it’ll backfire and make me want to throw in the towel. But I know that if I sit still for too long the opportunities presenting themselves will pass me by.

I just want to go from telling myself to wake up, to being able to wake up ready for the next project.

03/21/2023